The big 50 is approaching...
At this point, it does not matter at all what others think of me.
God has already started to edit the director’s cut of my life.
And as I imagine the preview, I have a full understanding of it all.
I embrace all the previous general rehearsal years and I have new projects in mind for 2022.
I would have never thought I would feel the way I do.
I had a few simple dreams: Finding love, Living by the sea, Becoming a textile designer and having a Dog.
All came true….
The love I needed to find was for life, not for another person.
I have a magic dog, Nuki, she is now my age too (in dog terms).
I not only came back to design, I have my own brand and I can work from a home right in front of the Ocean. My dreamed job.
Lately a few doors from the past opened, and I had a brief moment of feeling sorry for myself, wondering how did I accept all the general lack of respect I had, from the School years up to recent years.
I don't regret having loved as much, but hey!I should have set boundaries.
I had to find a key to move forward, and the key word is NOW.
My birthday wish is that everybody was allowed to find the path to their own happiness and inner peace. At least allowed.
For too many years I was blinded to see that chance was right there. I was not blind, I was blinded.
Yep, no more time for endless discussions about silly things, staring at the mirror looking for flaws, pointless relationships that will not make you feel loved, growing, happy or thriving.
Once you fight for your inner joy by yourself, and you win that battle, as I have, after terrible decades, then nobody can take away your joy, you take full responsability for all that goes well or not in the day.
There is always a click when you say, ok, this is it.
For me, getting liberated from the norm started with not driving. For decades I was mortified that I was not able to see well the road, signals etc. Finally I decided it was dangerous for me and for others to drive.
I allowed others to make me feel bad for not driving.
Because I felt less…From the moment I focused on all the things I am capable of I forgot about it and my life started changing.
Sometimes is not a matter of lack of effort. I put a lot of effort in learning by myself all the digital techniques to create my websites and designs, because I wanted to, with all my heart.
Not all things that you don’t achieve are due to a lack of effort.
Some things are not for you even if most of the society does it.
I liberated myself from not driving, not eating as most people eat, ( Most people is an absolutely meaningless expression to me), not drinking alcohol, only from time to time and 2 drinks maximum, not wanting to have a couple, not feeling the need of becoming a mother, not relating fully to anything pre established.
I don’t fit perfectly in any case, that is why I am such a late bloomer, because I wasted a lot of time trying to fit.
The only tribes I can relate to are dog lovers and pattern designers.
Two things that bring pure love and joy to the world.
If you read this, remember:
Respect yourself and others will too.
Even if it takes years, the Good you do will be acknowledged, but…Don´t expect anything.
Remain Open to Change.
Forgive yourself, and forgive others, learn from it and move on.
Don’t take non reciprocal bonds.
Embrace every single of your imperfections.
Focus on the kindness and Beauty there is in the world.
Respect and learn from Nature.
Act to feel good at the end of the day, even if nobody understands you.
Look for the funny side of most situations.
Define what you need ( or not ) in your life.
Share what life has teached you.
Live your life in 24h units.
Do the maximum you can everyday with a goal in mind... and feel gratitude at the very second you open your eyes everyday.
If you feel you become anxious about the future or too nostalgic of the past, share your life with a dog, it will help you to be more present.
And that is the most important thing about me, I am a person trying to focus on what can be done, NOW.
For myself and for others, by sharing my experiences at my Blog, my OPEN CALLS at G&Silk and my designs to bring some joy and hope.
Cheers! To weaving years.